[p5]
“OH, WELL, YOU KNOW
HOW WOMEN ARE!”
BY
IRVIN S. COBB
AUTHOR OF “THE LIFE OF THE PARTY,”“BACK HOME,” “OLD JUDGE PRIEST,”ETC.
NEW 
YORK
GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY
[p6]
COPYRIGHT, 1920,
BY GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY
COPYRIGHT, 1919, BY THE CROWELL PUBLISHING COMPANY
PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
[p7]
“OH, WELL, YOU KNOW
HOW WOMEN ARE!”
SHE emerges from the shop. She is anywoman, and the shop from which she emergesis any shop in any town. She has been shopping.This does not imply that she has been buying anythingor that she has contemplated buying anything,but merely that she has been shopping—avery different pursuit from buying. Buying impliesbusiness for the shop; shopping merely impliesbusiness for the clerks.
As stated, she emerges. In the doorway sheruns into a woman of her acquaintance. If shelikes the other woman she is cordial. But if shedoes not like her she is very, very cordial. Awoman’s aversion for another woman moving inthe same social stratum in which she herself movesmay readily be appraised. Invariably it is ininverse ratio to the apparent affection she displaysupon encountering the object of her disfavor.Why should this be? I cannot answer. It isnot given for us to know.
[p8]
Very well, then, she meets the other woman atthe door. They stop for conversation. Two menmeeting under the same condition would mechanicallydraw away a few paces, out of theroute of persons passing in or out of the shop.No particular play of the mental processes wouldactuate them in so doing; an instinctive impulse,operating mechanically and subconsciously, wouldimpel them to remove themselves from the mainpath of foot travel. But this woman and heracquaintance take root right there. Persons dodgeround them and glare at them. Other personsbump into them, and are glared at by the twotraffic blockers. Where they stand they make aknot of confusion.
But does it occur to either of them to suggestthat they might step aside, five feet or ten, andsave themselves, and the pedestrian classes generally,a deal of delay and considerable annoyance?It does not. It never will. If the meetingtook place in a narrow passageway or on apopulous staircase or at the edge of the orbit ofa set of swinging doors or on a fire escape landingupon the front of a burning building, while onewas going up to aid in the rescue and the otherwas coming down to be saved—if it took placejust outside the Pearly Gates on the Last Day[p9] when the quick and the dead, called up for judgment,were streaming in through the portals—stillwould they behave thus. Where they metwould be where they stopped to talk, regardlessof the consequences to themselves, regardless ofimpediment to the movements of their fellowbeings.
Having had her say with her dear friend orher dear enemy, as the case may be, our heroineproceeds to the corner and hails a passing streetcar. Because her heels are so high