E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, Punch, or the London Charivari,
Sandra Brown, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Vol. 153.
AUGUST 22nd, 1917.
"A POULTRY-FANCIER, HEARING THAT DEFENCES AT THE FRONT ARESOMETIMES DISGUISED AS HEN-HOUSES, DETERMINED TO REVERSE THEPROCESS. BEING A BIT OF AN ARTIST HE DISGUISED HIS HEN-HOUSE BYGIVING IT A WARLIKE APPEARANCE. THE ENEMY WAS STRICKEN WITHPANIC."
CHARIVARIA.
Eighty-eight policemen were bitten by dogs in 1913, but onlyforty-four in 1915, says The Daily Mail, and quotes apoliceman as saying that "dogs are not half so vicious as they usedto be." The true explanation is that policemen no longer taste asgood as in the old rabbit-pie days.
Recent heavy rain and the absence of sunshine have, it isstated, caused corn in Essex to sprout in the ear. This idea ofportable allotments is appealing very strongly to busy Citymen.
Feeling about the Stockholm Conference is changing a little, andseveral people suggest that Mr. RAMSAY MACDONALD might be sent as areprisal.
Sixty-seven children were recently lost on one day at NewBrighton. The fact that they were all restored to their parentsbefore nightfall speaks well for the honesty of the generalpublic.
The German authorities have further restricted the foods to besupplied to dogs, and German scientists are now trying to growdachshunds with a shorter span.
"We have a Coal Controller, but where is the coal?" plaintivelyasks a contemporary. There is no satisfying the jaundicedPress.
A well-dressed female baby a month old has been found under theseat of a first-class compartment in a train on the Chertsey line.Several mothers have written to congratulate her upon hercourageous and unconventional protest against the fifty per cent.increase in railway fares.
A Glasgow woman has been fined a guinea for trying to enlist inthe Irish Guards. Only the Scottish Courts carry pride of race tothese absurd lengths.
It is announced that the recent increase in the price of baconwas sanctioned by the FOOD CONTROLLER. The news has given greatsatisfaction to law-abiding consumers, who bitterly resented theunauthorised increases (upon which this is a further increase) thatwere made under the old régime.
A dress made from banana skins is now being exhibited in London.It is, we believe, a négligé costume, the sortof thing one can slip on at any time.
"If you had let the boy eat it, it would have punished him agreat deal more than I can," said the North London magistrate to aman who was prosecuting a boy for stealing an unripe pear. It is asplendid tribute to the humanity of our stipendiary magistratesthat the heroic offer of the boy to accept the greater punishmentwas promptly refused.
A workman at Kinlochleven, Argyllshire, found a live crab in apocket of sand at a depth of more than ten feet. On being taken tothe police-station and shown the "All Clear" notice the cautiouscrustacean consented to go straight home.
At a