NO RED MEATS, BUT ONLY SEA FOODS
Eating
in Two or Three
Languages
By
Irvin S. Cobb
Author of
"Paths of Glory," "Those Times and These," etc.
New York
George H. Doran Company
Copyright, 1919,
By George H. Doran Company
COPYRIGHT, 1918, BY THE CURTIS PUBLISHING COMPANY
TO
B.B. McALPIN, ESQUIRE,
WHO KNOWS A LOT
ABOUT EATING
ILLUSTRATIONS
| No Red Meats, but Only Sea Foods. | Frontispiece |
| Page | |
| "Herb, Stand Back! Stand Well Back to Avoid Being Splashed!" | 14 |
| Half a Dozen Times a Night or Oftener He Travelled under Escortthrough the Room | 48 |
Eating in Two or Three Languages
On my way home from overseas I spent many happy hours mapping out acampaign. To myself I said: "The day I land is going to be a great dayfor some of the waiters and a hard day on some of the cooks. Personswho happen to be near by when I am wrestling with my first ear ofgreen corn will think I am playing on a mouth organ. My behaviour inregard to hothouse asparagus will be reminiscent of the best work ofthe late Bosco. In the matter of cantaloupes I rather fancy I shallconsume the first two on the half shell, or au naturel, as weveteran correspondents say; but the third one will contain about asmuch vanilla ice cream as you could put in a derby hat.
"And when, as I am turning over my second piece of fried chicken, withVirginia ham, if H. Hoover should crawl out from under it, and,shaking the gravy out of his eyes, should lift a warning hand, I shallsay to him: 'Herb,' I shall say, 'Herb, stand [14] back! Stand well backto avoid being splashed, Herb. Please desist and do not bother me now,for I am busy. Kindly remember that I am but just returned from overthere and that for months and months past, as I went to and fro acrossthe face of the next hemisphere that you'll run into on the left ofyou if you go just outside of Sandy Hook and take the first turn tothe right, I have been storing up a great, unsatisfied longing for thespecial dishes of my own, my native land. Don't try, I pray you, totell me a patriot can't do his bit and eat it too, for I know better.
"HERB, STAND BACK! STAND WELL BACK TO AVOID BEINGSPLASHED!"
"'Shortly I may be in a fitter frame of mind to listen to youradmonition