PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

Vol. 109.

September 28, 1895.

(p. 145)

SCRAPS FROM CHAPS.

Aston-ishing!—The EnglishCup, won by the AstonVilla Football Club last year,has been stolen. Betweenboots and football a strongaffinity exists; and it appearsthat a cordonnier, a memberof the club, obtained a loan ofthe trophy, which he proudlyplaced in his shop window.On a pedestal, in the midst ofall sorts and conditions andsizes of shoes, it stood in silverysplendour—a sovereign,as it were, o'er a kingdom ofsoles—and was the gapingadmiration of the "idle progeny"of the neighbourhood,who, as is well known, evinceever an absorbing interest inall things appertaining to "therolling circle's speed." Andthe knight of the Soccus andCothurnus, the adept constructorof Jessamy's slipperand Giles's "hobnailed," theowner of the store, lulled himselfto sleep singing "Dearlittle Boot-ercup, Sweet littleFooter-cup," and dreamed thatthe goal of his ambition hadbeen reached, and that he hadreceived the appointment ofSoler and Heeler Extraordinaryto all the Football Clubsof the United Kingdom. But,alas! he awoke one morn tofind that a burglary had beencommitted, and that the Cuphad vanished! "It wouldappear," says the LiverpoolCourier, "that the thieveswanted the cup for the valueof its silver!" Oh! impossible!Gentlemen who thusacquire valuable articles ofgold or silver do so not for thecoarse gratification of an aurisacra fames, but rather forthe satisfaction of an artisticcraving, a laudable desire tocontemplate, in poetic solitude,the beauty of the objects.

THE RETURN OF THE NATIVE.

Tam. "Sae ye've gotten back, Sanders?"

Sanders. "'Deed, aye. I've just gotten back."

Jamie. "An' hoo did 'e like London?"

Sanders. "Od, it's an ootlandish place yon! They tell 't methey couldna unnerstaun ma Awccent!"

John. "Awccent! I never heard tell that Fife folk had onyAwccent!"

"BY PROXY."