Copyright, 1870, 1871, 1872, 1873, 1874, 1875, 1876, 1877, 1878, 1879, by
G. W. CARLETON & CO.
Copyright, 1902, byWM. H. DUFF
ADMINISTRATOR ESTATE OF HENRY W. SHAW
JOSH BILLINGS'
FARMER'S ALLMINAX
KEY TEW THE ABUV PERFORMANCE.
Tew kno exackly whare the sighn iz, multiply the day ov the month bi thesighn, then find a dividend that will go into a divider four timeswithout enny remains, subtrakt this from the sighn, add the fustquoshunt tew the last divider, then multiply the whole ov the man'sboddy bi all the sighns, and the result will be jist what yu are lookingafter.
BILLINGS' FAMILY TIME TABLE.
Amazi begot Hezaki, Hezaki begot Eldad, Eldad begot Behomath, Behomathbegot Zepheniah (Zepheniah waz a conumdrum maker, sum ov which hav beenhanded down down), Zepheniah begot Ezekiel, Ezekiel begot Issacher(Issaker waz a bad speller, which haz bin handed down too), Issakerbegot Nehemiah, Nehemiah begot Methuseler, Methuseler begot Nabob(Nabob waz a snob), Nabob begot Jerrymiah, and Jerrymiah begot AbsolumBillings (who is admitted bi every boddy who remembers him tew be themost humblyest looking man in the 9th Century). Absolum begot Josh, andso they kept bizzy begotting.
After the Billings family once struck the front name, Josh, they clungtew it. I find over 6 hundred ov that name extant, besides a grate mennywho haz bekum extanted.
The Billings hav bin a helthy old breed az fur back az i have dug forthem, which they owe principally tew a milk diet. It iz sed thatBehomath Billings, one ov our pristines, could drean a cow perfektly dryat one sitting. If this iz so, it helps explain the great amount ov milkin the Billings natur.
I dont find enny old bachelors, nor old maids, amung our ansesstors,inkrease and multiply haz alwus bin the battle cry of the Billings.
OPINIONS OF THE PRESS
AFTER SEEING THE ADVANCE SHEETS OV
FOR THE YEAR 1870.
"We seldum notis the current Amerikan literature ov the day, but theBillings Allminax, soon tew be issued by Carleton, is a work for themothers of the Amerikan Union."—London Times, June 6th, 1869.
"Josh Billings' Farmers' Allminax iz az phull ov gems az a diamondneklace, az phull of knowledge az Webster's Spellin Book, and az phullof cooking and cures az a parson's wife."—London Atheneum, May 31st,1869.
"The virtewous thoughts in Josh's Allminax iz gin cocktails for theidle, and brandy straights for the viscious."—Atlantik Semi-Monthly,May 3d, 1869.
"The Billings' Allminax will prove a rare acquisition tew Amerikanliterature; the astronomikal calculashuns are unique, the languageelegant, th