IF WINTER
DON’T
 A.B.C.D.E.F.
 NOTSOMUCHINSON
BY
BARRY PAIN
 
 
NEW YORK
FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY
PUBLISHERS
Copyright, 1922, by
Frederick A. Stokes Company
All rights reserved
First Printing, September 9, 1922
Second Printing, October 19, 1922
Third Printing, November 22, 1922
Fourth Printing, December 5, 1922
 
Printed in the United States of America
These parodies do good to the bookparodied; great good, sometimes; theyare kindly meant, and the parodist hasusually keenly enjoyed the book of whichhe sits down to make a fool.
R. L. STEVENSON.
 Table of Contents
Prefatory Notev
Chapter I1
Chapter II5
Chapter III11
Chapter IV19
Chapter V33
Chapter VI39
Chapter VII49
Chapter VIII55
Chapter IX61
Chapter X71
Chapter XI75
Epilogue87
[Pg v]
PREFATORY NOTE
I
“If Winter Comes” placed its author not only as a Best Seller, but asone of the Great Novelists of to-day. Not always are those royaltiescrowned by those laurels. Tarzan (of, if I remember rightly, the Apes)never won the double event. And I am told by superior people that,intellectually, Miss Ethel M. Dell takes the hindmost. Personally, Ifound “If Winter Comes” a most sympathetic and interesting book. I                        
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