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PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Vol. 107.
September 8, 1894.
IS THE BAR A PROFITABLE PROFESSION?
(A Query to be answered during the Long Vacation.)
I am always reluctant to obtrude my personality upon the BritishPublic. All the world know my address in the Temple, and so longas my learned friends who act as intermediaries between myself andthe litigation-loving public bear me in mind, I require no furtheradvertisement. However, I cannotclose my eyes to Duty, and Duty pointsto the pages of a paper that may beaptly called the organ of the Bench,the Jury, and the Bar. I feel compelledto publish the following short story inthe columns of that organ as a proof ofthe degeneracy of the profession towhich I have the honour to belong. Ishall be only too pleased if my Spartan-likeconduct proves of benefit to myfellow-counsel. I write in their service,and without an eye—yes, I venture tosay half an eye—to the main chance.My narrative will prove that ignorance,and, if I may be permitted to say so,unpardonable ignorance exists at theLaw Courts. I have kept silent until the Long Vacation has commenced.My reason for this reticence is not difficult to discover.Had I taken the public into my confidence at an earlier date, it wouldbe obvious that I might have suffered in professional status. Nowthat the Long Vacation has been reached, there is ample time for theprocess known as "living it down." But I will not anticipate.
I must confess that I was not a little pleased the other day to learnfrom my excellent clerk, Portington, that a representative of thefirm of Clogs, Judas, and Friars, were anxious to see me on amatter of business.
"Have I had them as clients before?" I asked my worthyassistant.
"Oh, no, Sir," returned Portington. "You see, for the lastfive years you have only had——"
"Yes, yes," I interrupted, for my excellent clerk is sometimesinclined to become a trifle prosy. "I will see him at once. Is he inmy room?"
"Well, no, Sir; as you said that Mr. Inkerton might use it forthe soda-water cases, I thought it would be better to show him intoMr. Block's room. You see, Sir, it is tidier than your room; forsince we have had the lawn-tennis nets——"
But here I again interrupted my worthy assistant, who, I amforced to admit, is sometimes a trifle discursive. I interrupted him,and, entering Block's room, made the acquaintance of my newclient.
"I think, Sir," said my visitor, "that you are of opinion thatthere is no custom concerning the dismissal of office messengers?"
I never like to commit myself without referring to my books, so Iwas silent for a moment.
"At least," continued my client, "you have not heard of any?"
"Well, no," I returned; "so far as my experience goes, I havenot come across the custom."
"That's quite enough for us, Sir. If you will swear that, weshall want nothing further."
Rather to my disgust my visitor suddenly placed a subpœna in myhand, and