TIED UP FOR TOMBSTONE
“Lodestone, you flea-bitten, long-eared ancestor of a jack-rabbit,take a look at the best place the Lord ever made, and rejoice withme.”
Lodestone wiggles his ears, kicks at a hoss-fly, narrowly missing myhead, and looks with sad eyes down at the city of Piperock. Then hegoes to sleep. Which shows that a burro ain’t got no finer feelings.
We been away for quite a while—me and Lodestone. We pilgrims up theBitter Root range to where old Blue Nose sticks into the clouds,crosses over and pilgrims back the other side, all of which takes upseveral months, and don’t net me nothing but blisters and blasphemy.
I misses “Magpie” Simpkins a heap, and I welcomes the day when I canshake the hand of that long, loose-jointed hombre. Magpie is one ofthe leading citizens of Piperock, and until a few months ago, mypardner.
When I left to make my fortune he was setting there in hisoffice—Magpie is the sheriff—and wondering how he can square thingswith the populace to get reelected.
He’s of the lodge-pole type, and wears a goodly length of hair on hisupper lip. He pleads with me not to leave him but for once in my lifeI turns a deaf ear to his siren voice, and herds my burro out ofhearing.
Piperock ain’t what a stranger would call a paradise on earth, and shedon’t qualify for the milk and honey, but she’s a man’s town—all upand down the street.
Me and Lodestone pilgrims through the dust up to “Buck” Masterson’ssaloon, and I goes inside. Buck and “Tellurium” are there, and theywelcomes me like a lost brother. Buck salutes me with the properingredients, and we exchanges pleasantries.
After we sort of gets used to each other again Buck hauls out a sheetof paper, and smooths it out on the bar.
“Take a look at that, Ike,” says he. “There’s something new.”
I sizes her up. It’s what resembles a newspaper—in some respects—but Ican’t seem to read it none to speak of. The label across the topresembles this—
The rest of the page is smears and blots.
“Looks like a Russian proclamation, Buck,” says I. “Where did it comefrom?”
“Right here, Ike; that ex-pardner of yours published it.”
“Magpie?” I asks, and they both nods. “That’s his first edition,”replies Buck. “He took over the office when a few of the local boysran the editor across the border for slandering the community. Thatpaper invades this here country about a month after you leaves, andshe runs high along until the editor gets a call to uplift thecommunity. Yesterday he beat the posse across the line, and Magpiegets out his maiden sheet. This here feller speaks feelingly oflawlessness, and even goes so far as to make personal remarks aboutour morals. What he said about the town of Paradise was awful.”
“Is Magpie still sheriff?” I asks.
“Uh-huh,” admits Tellurium, who ain’t friendly with Magpie. “AbeAnderson was running against him, and had a grand chance to win, butAbe’s old weakness crops up and spoils things.”
“Abe seen a chance to run off some Circle Star cows,” explains Buck.“He runs foul of Magpie and three of the Ci