NOTE
The picture on page 81 purporting to show the undersigned leaping head first into a German feather-bed does the undersigned a cruel injustice. He has a prettier figure than that—oh, oh, much prettier!
The reader is earnestly entreated not to look at the picture on page 81. It is the only blot on the McCutcheon of this book.
Respectfully,
The Author.
CONTENTS
Chapter I. We Are Going Away From Here
Chapter II. My Bonny Lies over the Ocean—Lies and Lies and Lies
Chapter III. Bathing Oneself on the Other Side
Chapter IV. Jacques, the Forsaken
Chapter V. When the Seven A.M. Tut-tut leaves for Anywhere
Chapter VI. La Belle France Being the First Stop
Chapter VII. Thence On and On to Verbotenland
Chapter VIII. A Tale of a String-bean
Chapter IX. The Deadly Poulet Routine
Chapter X. Modes of the Moment; a Fashion Article
Chapter XII. Night Life—with the Life Part Missing
Chapter XIII. Our Friend, the Assassin
Chapter XV. Symptoms of the Disease
Chapter XVI. As Done in London
Chapter XVII. Britain in Twenty Minutes
Chapter XVIII. Guyed or Guided?
Chapter XIX. Venice and the Venisons
Chapter XX. The Combustible Captain of Vienna
Chapter XXI. Old Masters and Other Ruins
Chapter XXII. Still More Ruins, Mostly Italian Ones
Chapter XXIII. Muckraking in Old Pompeii
Chapter XXV. Be it Ever so Humble