The Jest Book
University Press: Welch, Bigelow, & Co.
The Jest Book
THE CHOICEST ANECDOTES AND SAYINGS
SELECTED AND ARRANGED BY
MARK LEMON
CAMBRIDGE
SEVER AND FRANCIS
1865
PREFACE.
The Compiler of this new Jest Book is desirous to make known that it iscomposed mainly of old jokes,—some older than Joe Miller himself,—witha liberal sprinkling of new jests gathered from books and hearsay. Inthe course of his researches he has been surprised to find how manyJests, Impromptus, and Repartees have passed current, century aftercentury, until their original utterer is lost in the "mist of ages"; aGood Joke being transferred from one reputed Wit to another, thusresembling certain rare Wines which are continually being rebottled butare never consumed. Dr. Darwin and Sir Charles Lyell, when they havesatisfied themselves as to the Origin of Species and the Antiquity ofMan, could not better employ their speculative minds than indetermining the origin and antiquity of the venerable "joes" which havebeen in circulation beyond the remembrance of that mythical personage,"the Oldest Inhabitant."
A true Briton loves a good joke, and regards it like "a thing ofbeauty," "a joy forever," therefore we may opine that Yorick's "flashesof merriment, which were wont to set the table in a roar," when Hamletwas king in Denmark, were transported hither by our Danish invaders, and[Pg vi]descended to Wamba, Will Somers, Killigrew, and other accreditedjesters, until Mr. Joseph Miller reiterated many of them over his pipeand tankard, when seated with his delighted auditory at the Black Jackin Clare Market.
Modern Research has been busy with honest Joe's fame, decreeing thecollection of his jests to Captain Motley, who wrote short-lived playsin the time of the First and Second Georges; but the same false Mediumhas affected to discover that Dick Whittington did not come to LondonCity at the tail of a road wagon, neither was he be-ladled by a crosscook, and driven forth to Highgate, when Bow Bells invited him to returnand make venture of his Cat, marry Fitzalwyn's daughter, and be thriceLord Mayor of London, albeit it is written in City chronicles, thatWhittington's statue and the effigy of his gold-compelling Grimalkinlong stood over the door of New Gate prison-house. We would not havedestroyed the faith of the Rising Generation and those who are tosucceed it in that Golden Legend, to have been thought as wise as thePtolemies, or to have been made president of all the Dryasdusts inEurope. No. Let us not part with our old belief in honest Joe Miller,but trust rather to Mr. Morley, the histori