THE SHRIEK
ByCHARLES SOMERVILLE
MISS VERBEENA MAYONNAISE IN ALL HER WONDROUS BOYISH GRACE AND BEAUTY.
THE SHRIEK
A Satirical Burlesque
With illustrations
BY THE AUTHOR
New York
W. J. Watt & Company
publishers
Copyright, 1922, by
W. J. WATT & COMPANY
Printed in the United States of America
Table of Contents
CHAPTER ICHAPTER II
CHAPTER III
CHAPTER IV
CHAPTER V
CHAPTER VI
CHAPTER VII
CHAPTER VIII
CHAPTER IX
CHAPTER X
CHAPTER XI
CHAPTER XII
CHAPTER XIII
CHAPTER XIV
THE SHRIEK
CHAPTER I
“Are you comin’ to the dawncin’, Lady Speedway?” asked the American inhis best transatlantic liner accent.
“Most decidedly not!”
Mind you, this answer from Lady Speedway meant red lights ahead.
At the Hotel Biscuit she had the authority of a traffic policeman asto whom were who as well as what was what regarding the foreign colonytirelessly wasting its time on the verge of the tawny Sahara.
She was the Field Marshal of the Front Porch Knitting Needle Hussars,nicknamed “Hussies.”
Her approbation was olive oil; her discountenance prickly heat.
“Of course,” she added, “while recognizing[Pg 2] that expatiation does notinclude brevity, one may not stand as I do now—in the soft light ofthe balcony and well off the main scene, I hope you observe—withoutdeclaring one’s self aggressively out of sympathy with the maddeninglyawful expedition of which this dance is the insolubly idioticinauguration.
“To give my opinion concisely, plainly, briefly, withoutratiocinations, fulminations, obscurations, diversions, digressions ornuances, I go on record as saying that this flapper, VerbeenaMayonnaise,—the absurd chit—is impossible!”
“O, me lady!”
“Yes, I am. And that’s more than Verbeena Mayonnaise will find herselfif she insists on carrying on in this matter.
“A lone girl, crossing the desert with only nati