CONTENTS
| Page | |
| Life of Stephen H. Branch. | 2 |
| Stephen H. Branch’s Alligator. | 6 |
| Fra Diavolo and His Italian Brigands. | 7 |
| Ice Cream. | 7 |
| Our Country’s Ruin. | 9 |
| Dev’l-In a Bakery. | 10 |
| For Pale Students, and Romantic Virgins. | 11 |
Volume I.—No. 2.]——SATURDAY, MAY 1, 1858.——[Price 2 Cents.
STEPHEN H. BRANCH’S
ALLIGATOR.
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1857, by
STEPHEN H. BRANCH,
In the Clerk’s Office of the District Court of the United
States for the Southern District of New York.
Life of Stephen H. Branch.
John Horsewell was a poor boy, and hadduck legs. My brother William was tallerand older than John, and had a new suit ofclothes, with which I clad John from head tofoot. Bill’s hat and boots were too large forJohn, and his coat on John nearly grazed theground. I put on my Sunday suit, and off wewent to Boston, forty miles distant. We quarrelledon the road, in a deep wood, and I demandedJohn to take off Bill’s clothes, atwhich he called me hard names, and I lefthim, and directed my steps towards Providence,leaving him reclining on the embankmentof the forest road. I wandered half amile at a quick and revengeful pace; but astwilight was approaching, and I heard thebark of a dog, with lungs of thunder, I becamealarmed, and hurried back to John, andcraved his pardon, and we lingered until thestage arrived, when we took passage for Boston,reaching the Marlboro’ Hotel at midnight.Mr. Barker was the host, and, on our inquiryfor lamps to retire, he exclaimed: “Who areyou, and whence came you?” John was disconcerted,but I was cool, and replied: “Ournames are Branch and Horsewell, and we arefrom Providence.” “Did you visit Bostonwith the permission of your father andmother?” “No, sir.” “You ran away, then?”“No, sir; we walked away.” “What canyou do in Boston in your clouts?” “Learn atrade, sir.” “Have you any money?” “Fortycents, sir.” “Bob: Take these brats to yourroom, and make a bunk on the floor, and lockthe door, and watch their movements closelyuntil morning, when I will put them in thepoor house or county jail.” And off wetramped to bed, up four flights of stairs, andwere locked in until Bob came to bed, whenwe snored terribly, pretending to be in a dozeso profound, that a cannon could not arouse us.John cried all night, and at daylight wecrawled softly from our hard nests, while Bobwas asleep, and softly turned the key, and descendedthe stairs in