PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
VOL. 1.
AUGUST 7, 1841.
THE WIFE-CATCHERS.
A LEGEND OF MY UNCLE’S BOOTS.
In Four Chapters.
“His name ’tis proper you should hear,
’Twas Timothy Thady Mulligin:
And whenever he finish’d his tumbler of punch,
He always wished it full agin.”
CHAPTER II.
“You can have no idea, Jack, howdeeply the loss of those venerated family retainers affectedme.”
My uncle paused. I perceived that his eyes were full, and histumbler empty; I therefore thought it advisable to divert hissorrow, by reminding him of our national proverb, “Issfarr doch na skeal11. Adrink is better than a story..”
The old man’s eyes glistened with pleasure, as he graspedmy hand, saying, “I see, Jack, you are worthy of your name. Iwas afraid that school-learning and college would have spoiled yourtaste for honest drinking; but the right drop is in you still, myboy. I mentioned,” continued he, resuming the thread of hisstory, “that my grandfather died, leaving to his heirs thetopped boots, spurs, buckskin-breeches, and red waistcoat; but itis about the first-mentioned articles I mean especially to speak,as it was mainly through their respectable appearance that so manyexcellent matches and successful negotiations have been concludedby our family. If one of our cousins was about to wait on hislandlord or his sweetheart, if he meditated taking a farm or awife, ‘the tops’ were instantly brushed up, and putinto requisition. Indeed, so fortunate had they been in all thematrimonial embassies to which they had been attached, that theyacquired the name of ‘the wife-catchers,’ amongst theyoung fellows of our family. Something of the favour they enjoyedin the eyes of the fair sex should, perhaps, be attributed to thefact, that all the Duffys were fine strapping fellows, with legsthat seemed made for setting off topped boots to the bestadvantage.
“Well, years rolled by; the sons of mothers whose heartshad been won by the irresistible buckism of Shawn Duffy’sboots, grew to maturity, and, in their turn, furbished up‘the wife-catchers,’ when intent upon invading theaffections of other rustic fair ones. At length these invaluablerelics descended to me, as the representative of our family. It wasten years on last Lady-day since they came into my possession, andI am proud to say, that during that time the Duffys and ‘thewife-catchers’ lost nothing of the reputation they hadpreviously gained, for no less than nineteen marriages andninety-six christenings have occurred in our family during thetime. I had every hope, too, that another chalk would have beenadded to the matrimonial tally, and that I should have the pleasureof completing the score before Lent; for, one evening, about fourmonths ago, I received a note from your cousin Peter, informing methat he intended riding over, on the following Sunday, to MissPeggy Haggarty’s, for the purpose of popping the question,and requesting of me the loan of the lucky‘wife-catchers’ for the occasion.
“I need not tell you I was delighted to oblige poor Peter,who is the best fellow and surest shot in the county, andaccordingly took down the boots from their peg in the hall. Throug